Between a Hero and A Horror

Somewhere between being a hero and a horror
Struggling for words like an asphyxiated author
The mind’s shine is dying out
but still gleam and lean starboard
In this land of true lies
Sometimes its hard to get down to the body of
When terror & adrenaline gripping you like a body glove
& no one to feed you lines like Leo or Arnold
You enhance your mind & treat it like a stronghold
Your heart is on hold & all hope
You could be the same person that somebody loved
Prior to you signing up
Or prior to you shipping out
Now prior to you flipping out
You was a treasure they couldn’t live without
Now check their pulse & fingertips
& see how they feeling now
Feel the ground its tipping now above the roof
We hate police & support the troops
We hate the peace & abort the truth
Each statement means a gloved double deuce
A catch 22 if you didn’t catch it
60 split hairs in as many seconds
Excuses for values without any questions
Ain’t no answers but, uh any questions?
Instead of mentor ship they give semantics
You don’t want a hand out
just want to see where your hand is
you loan morals out
& work with what you’ve been granted
Get defaulted on and your interests vanish
Now all of a sudden you running around in a panic
& down is what’s up
& happy people suck
You can’t trust love
& you cant chance luck
You can’t see straight cuz your eyes are slanted
& everyone keeps giving you sideways glances
you can’t even sleep because your dreams is too strange
You can’t trust friends cuz people do change
Your boss is on your back
Your spouse is in the sack
And you handle all that
Til you get on that plane
But it’s not easy for starters
Somedays you falter
Sometimes you lose sight of what you fought for
Somedays you’re a monster
Somedays you’re a conqueror
but everyday you’re halfway between
a Hero and a Horror

 

 

 

(c) 2012 Zacarius Pierre

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Mind on Mississippi

Mind on Mississippi Can’t say I’m anxious can’t say I’m worried  Can’t say nothing sweet can’t say something mean  So burdened I feel buried  When I get there will things change  Will you change   we still speak  When I get home will it work out  Will I workout will I still sleep  Will I eat way too much to cover unhappiness Will the kids respect me  Will they add a sir after yes  Will we find a new car  Have we paid taxes on this new address Getting home supposed to be a relief  What if it add stress What if we argue, what if I’m mean What if we can’t adjust what’ll it seem  Like to a little girl who’s barely old enough for pigtails  Will we show love will she grow up and feel compelled To call  text write and visit Or will she avoid me just like I did it  With my own mom  Will she call me dad in her own time  Will she realize I did this for her  Or appreciate that I was just blur  A distant memory instead of the father figure I was meant to be  Will she even remember me  Where will I work what will I do  will I survive ok just going to school What do I say to this kids that’s not my age That don’t know my life or why I’m this way  Or why I’m so old how I haven’t finished my degree yet Tell em Im sticking to the script  when they don’t know  What they want to be yet I never been a loser and I dnt plan to start  Just wait and hang on and see what I do with this

Pay Off

I get down sometimes because I’m my hardest critic even before I look to say something about others. So I’ll be the first to say that my momma raised me better than I act at times.(Momma told me to speak like I got a college degree- J. Cole) I have to credit that with why I haven’t gone off the deep end. Especially when I see how many lames, marks, tricks, skips, scabs, and scallywags are out here living it up. You know those times you realize that you work too damn hard and the bum you just gave a dollar to hops into a benz and uses your dollar for toll money? That’s how I’ve been feeling lately. I’m sure that’s how a J. Cole or a Wale feels when they can give you a classic mixtape and they turn on the radio and Solja Boy or Waka Flocka (yeah, I know Wale did a song with him but it was the hottest verse on the song) gets played every 7 minutes. It has to hurt. But right when you feel like all these shady, crooked, half way illiterate MFers are doing way better than you just remember they caught your boy Qaddafi in a sewer. The U.S. claimed he had BILLIONS embezzled. That’s Oprah money. Swizz Beats/ Alicia Keys money gets you an African village and he supposedly had Oprah money and was caught in a sewer? No matter. That just goes to show when you are doing the wrong thing whether for 42 minutes or 42 YEARS like Qaddafi it will come back to you. Vice versa if you stay focused and do what you are supposed to do, even if it takes long, the grind will pay off.

Savage

This one is for my brother Pookie always trying to loud cap me rocking a Boosie fade. I’m going to come back to the states rockin that Webbie (Webbie not weebie nigga get it right, lmao) fro’. For those of you waiting on that Savage Life 3 maybe you can make sense of this interview Webbie just did cuz I have no clue what he was saying or trying to say. http://static.hiphopdx.org/video/player.swf
http://static.hiphopdx.org/video/player.swf

On Her Mind

You don’t respect my mind
Make me feel stupid in front of my friends
In front of your friends
No regard for feelings
Disregard opinions
Got me looking at other women
You turn me down
When you could’ve said yes
But you only say no cuz it’s something I wanted
It’s not like it’s something we can’t afford
Its because you just don’t want it
Or is it because you don’t want me to have it
Don’t want me to be happy
Control my life
You ain’t my family
You ain’t much while I’m at it
By myself I can do badly
Why you always feel like you gotta compare me
“You’re not like such and such”
“You don’t do like so and so”
You not still with them though
Why you gotta kick me when I’m already feeling low
Why you want me to be different so…
You never compliment my hair or the way I dress
When I do more you tell me do less
Criticize the way I talk or walk always have me stressed
Why you gotta be so difficult
You never seemed pleased
Even when I break my back
Even when I’m down on my knees
And he said….
Same thing goes for you
I get on my knees to please you
Break my back working to feed you
You say I talk like a thug
Say I walk with a limp
Complain I’m gone too much
But you’re quiet when the money gets spent
Think I should dress with more swagger
Think an s- curl would make me look pimp
When I’m loud I’m too ghetto
When I’m reading I’m nothing like him
Compare me to such and such
Cuz he gave you every frivolous whim
Always asking for something
But you never talking bout doing nothing
And you want everything in the world
But tell me baby…
When did you start to like girls?

I think I put a nice spin on this. Obviously if you understood where I was going with this you know off top that this is not about me.

Cleveland’s Machine Gun Kelly

So in between the Sideline Story and jamming to new mixtapes from Wale and Meek Mill I had a chance to check out Rage Pack by Cleveland native Machine Gun Kelly, MGK or Kels for short. He’s got an affiliation with Diddy and as we all know thats only good for the length of time that you stay associated with him (see Loon, Dream, any number of “Da Band” members). With that said lets put the focus on the actual music. MGK actually has a decent tape in Rage Pack. Hype songs in “STFU” and “Wild Boy” (if you can stand the Waka Flock feature). Heartfelt joints like “Chasing Pavements” and even story telling with “On Fire”. Rage Pack is a decent outing if you looking for something to tide you over til Ambition and Radioactive come out.

Randumbz- 12 Jul 2011

Sometimes you have the opportunity to tell someone the truth or a lie. And you weigh the pros and cons, the influences and outcomes and make a decision. but no matter what you choose you always wish you had done the opposite. If you tell the truth you have the awful misfortune of them knowing exactly what you said/ did. If you lie you have guilt and that gnawing feeling that they will find out what the truth is. If you sit in silence then they will know something is wrong and depending on the person it is only a matter of time before they address. In most cases a “matter” is a unit of time measured in minutes (if you are a woman) or decades (because us men are clueless and/ or know better). But in the end where is the middle ground? Compromise is usually reserved for those who have a weaker resolve. The question, or challenge rather, then is how to put yourself in a situation where you do not arrive at this opportunity. Being a member of the opinionated generation I am one of those people that would rather say whatever comes to mind in regards to a topic. But people like us form and express these opinions without often giving mind to the second or third order of effect. What happens if this causes this? Or what happens if this is a result of this causing this and affecting that? The end result then is a consequence that we can not fathom and although it made sense to the other party we can not fathom nor do we feel we deserve such a response. Thus the environment that we create for ourselves is self deprecating. Either we don’t get to say what we want for fear of repercussions and stifle our selves into boggy misery or we crush those around us until we have no audience leaving us with the shrill sound of our own voices. So if you know me or someone like me, don’t put me in a position where I have to make this decision. my response to you should always be natural with no fear or regret.