Lying to the Person You Love Most

I’ve been doing something I said I would never do. I’ve been lying to my daughter about Santa Claus, the Easter bunny, and the tooth fairy. You know what else? I don’t feel bad about it. Firstly, (not sure if firstly is a word, but don’t judge me) I’m not really lying by commission,¬† I’m lying by omission. I’m not telling her that there is a Santa Claus or Easter Bunny, I’m just not refuting the fact either. Mainly because I don’t want to crush her little dreams and happiness. Just because I had a bitter, mostly Christmas-less child- hood does not mean that she should also. When Christmas rolls around I always tell her as I let her open a gift “look what daddy got you”, or “look what mommy bought.” Sort of subliminally letting her know that Santa didn’t have jack to do with her presents. santa_claus_doesnt_exist_post_cards-rcbcbf0b3eaa549d9b427da7f0eb47727_vgbaq_8byvr_512

Secondly, I am losing the war of parenting and marriage (like most men.) because as many times as I purposely try to omit the existence of a Santa Claus her mother is saying “Santa is coming” or “what is Santa going to bring you?” I can’t just step in¬†and say, “Santa is going to bring you shit!” Because then I am the bad guy, and no parent wants to be the bad guy. So I’m stuck between a rock and a fictional hard place. 34972463

Third (is there a thirdly? and if there isn’t, then I guess I can’t use Secondly), so …Thirdly I am one of those awful Christians who does not go to Church often. I’ve been stuck between churches ever since I moved down to New Orleans. I either do not like a church, most of the ones I’ve been to, or I¬†like it but it is too far to be practical. I digress, I still like to harp on the idea that Christmas should be about God/ Jesus (nevermind the whole not being born in the winter argument, lets save that for a later date) and so should Easter. In some ways I feel like the Bunny takes away from the sanctity of the holiday. On the other hand, there are atheists out there who would analogize¬†my believe in God to my daughter’s belief in Santa/ Easter Bunny. To those guys I say: “Fuck You Buddy!!” I already said I wasn’t a very good Christian.santa_vs_god

Fourthly (that sounds plain stupid) my daughter watches entirely too much television. This is MY FAULT. The television is a big¬†promoter of the Santa Claus/ Easter Bunny agenda. It is why my daughter’s attention span¬†sucks.¬†(It is also part of the reason why she¬†began speaking and counting at an early age.) It is hard to tell a Toddler no this isn’t real when every t.v. show she watches has a holiday episode that NEVER speaks about religion but features a heavy dose of SC/EB. (I can abbreviate Santa Claus and Easter Bunny without introducing them, I’m good like that.) You can’t say “Merry Christmas” anymore, it seems. Even “happy Holidays” seems to be headed for a downfall. pretty soon we will be limited to either “Happy Gift Giving Day” or “Happy see members of your Spouse’s family which you hate day”. When my daughter gets older she can be whatever religion/ non religion she wants but while she lives in my house she will be a Judeo/Christian/ respecter of Muslims.

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Mostly, I want to raise a nice respectable young lady, who does not end up as a stripper. If believing in Santa means that you keep your clothes on while talking to strange men, by all means, believe in him until you die. The only thing that¬†irks me more than this¬†whole Holiday lie situation is the inevitable birds and the bees. talk…

Te’o Soap Opera Continues

This Te’o shit is getting deeper and uglier. So now the dude who was perpertrating as a woman, and Catfished (you like how I used that as a verb hunh) Manti Te’o is saying that he may have been in love with Te’o.

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The first of McGraw’s two-part interview with Tuiasosopo will air Thursday on the “Dr. Phil” show. McGraw appeared Wednesday morning on NBC’s “Today” show, which aired two clips of the Tuiasosopo interview.

“There were many times when Manti and Lennay have broken up,” Tuiasosopo said, “but something would bring them back together, whether it was something going on in his life or Lennay’s life or in this case my life.”

McGraw said Tuiasosopo told him he fell deeply in love with Te’o and that for Tuiasosopo it was a romantic relationship.

“Here we have a young man that fell deeply, romantically in love,” McGraw told NBC. “I asked him straight up, ‘Was this a romantic relationship with you?’ And he says yes. I said, ‘Are you then therefore gay?’ And he said, ‘When you put it that way, yes.’ And then he caught himself and said ‘I am confused.’ ”

McGraw told NBC that Te’o “absolutely, unequivocally” wasn’t involved in the hoax.

One theory for the hoax is that Te’o was trying to cover up a homosexual relationship. In her TV interview with Te’o last week, Katie Couric asked him if he was gay.

“No, far from it,” he said. “Faaaaarrrr from it.”

Tuiasosopo told McGraw that as Te’o became more famous he knew that the online hoax he started more than two years ago was going to blow up.

Tuiasosopo said: “I wanted to end it because after everything I had gone through I finally realized that I just had to move on with my life and had to get … you know, my real me, Ronaiah … I just had to start living and let this go.”

McGraw said he spent time with Tuiasosopo and his parents.

“Ronaiah had a number of life experiences that damaged this young man in some very serious ways,” he said.

read the rest of this ESPN article here

read another article that I wrote about the Te’o soap opera here

Doesn’t Measure Up

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So, recently someone measured a Subway sandwich and found out it doesn’t measure up. The foot longs (12 inches in a foot) are really only eleven. Subway counteracted by claiming the bread wasnt cooked to their specifications. That statement didn’t cut it so they went to the legal jargon saying “footlong” is a product description and not a measurement. Now everyone is “Subwaying” – taking photos of their sandwich next to a ruler, yard stick, measuring tape.

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These photos are a Quiznos ad in the making. The biggest part of this in my opinion is the reaction from Subway. We all know when McDonald’s says quarter pound or Angus 1/3rd pound the fine print says precooked patty weight.

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For Subway to come out at first and try to say that that particular sandwich wasn’t up to standard was a low blow and they had to know other people would measure up. On the other hand, if they give you an extra inch of bread, their meat already comes in predetermined selections ( 4 meatballs for a “footlong” 2 for a 6 inch.) Is it really that big a deal? @Royal_U_G 1royalradio.com

Chamillionaire- “Elevate EP”

Chamillionaire announced via Chamillionaire.com that he will be releasing a new EP. read the post below:896d0e1db71d058b2148c37aac080e8f
el·e·vate  
/?el??v?t/
Verb
Raise or lift (something) up to a higher position.
Raise to a more important or impressive level:
 
 
I will be releasing a new EP called ELEVATE on FEB 12th on http://www.chamillionaire.com. The first 500 copies will be autographed and each autographed copy will be numbered. That means if you receive the 7th cd it will say 7/500 on it. There will ONLY be 500 autographed copies. I will only press up 1000 CDs total (Maybe I will make more later but if so I probably won’t make them available until later after the next one comes out). This way would make the amount of volume I have to ship easier for me to control. The CDs will ship on Monday February 11th and will release on Feb 12th. Elevate will have real songs on it and will probably have about 7 songs. ¬†
 
Everyone who pre – orders a physical copy will be emailed a download link at 2pm (Central Time) on Feb 12th. This means you will be able to listen to it at the exact moment it releases, before you receive your package in the mail, before All Star Weekend, and before someone else gets it and leaks it. That’s the best way I can ensure that the people who support get to hear it first.¬†
 
The autographed copies will probably be sold out quick so I suggest you get one now if you prefer it be autographed. Sorry I will only be able to sign 500 a release. (Please don’t have a family member email me asking me to do anything different. It happens every time but this is already a lot of cds for me to autograph.)¬†
 
This will be one of multiple EP’s that I will do leading up to the release of my POISON album. Each EP will be different from the last one and none of them will be a part of any continuing series. The packaging of each of these EP’s will be different than the packaging I normally do with my mix tapes. I explained that depth in this mornings chamillionaire.com newsletter, so if you haven’t read that email yet then you probably should go read it.¬†